I'm still loving you

When I close my eyes I think of you
And the times we’ve had been through 
Even though we’re far apart right now

I remember back when you were here with me
How you’ve made my world complete
But now I’m left alone

We talked about love and hope
Wishing we could start a life our own
I wish that I could live without you

# Why did you tear my heart apart
You said you’d love me from the start
All those painful things you’ve put me through
But I’m still loving you

I’ve tried to give my best to you
I don’t deserve the things you do
Everything has gone to memories
I just wish I knew the truth behind the lies.

STOP- Should Think Of People

I thought I could just forget everything that had happened, but I can't. I just wish someone could just be so strange to me that i can't even remember who am I anymore.The fact is, you just keep putting words in my mind, I don't know whether I say it stressful or annoying or just because I can't take it as a fact. 


Fact will be fact all the time, but can't you just lay back and give me some space to breath instead of keep pushing me with words. I might be slow in everything or even understanding, but I can't bare with all this pressure around me. 


My mind ain't capable of storing everything at once.You may give me a millions of reasons, a billion of understanding, and trillion metamorphosis that I can't cope or even understand, but I'm just human. I need time and space. Either the space is small or wide, all I could take in is just a matter of time. Explaining all the time is tiring. so, I rather stay quiet and let you doubt than explaining with useless words that makes us get furious and store anger in ourselves.. 

It doesn't really matter sometimes when things doesn't go your way, or it just being so annoying that your day just doesn't cut it. what matter is that its what you care about and what you think. So, usually when comes to life telling and summarizing everything , you gotta have the guts to hold what you own, for instance, the fact that you are not good enough to be a model, and yea, that's the fact, and some shit that you could not understand how this world could really make you go crazy even without having the slightest idea how you can get here, well, deal with that shit man.

There are things in life you cant make sense of, or even though it's unfair to do some random things, you're still end up doing just for the sack of having fun. And yet fun is in the naughty category, or not, for some peoples. If you ask me, to have sex or not to have sex, oh well, does that makes any different?  get a life..

People who only date you because you look great, tell them to jerk off. only asshole would say that.

I know people who appreciate the heart and soul more that just image.

I must say I've ruin a night that is  unforgivable. A night that I have ruin badly.. A night that I'm not suppose to cause troubles.. and eventually I ruin it.

How could I be so dumb making all this mess and troubles that still linger around me. 

All these social net working, pictures, romance, comments, and likes.. OMG.. all these ruin me. 

And FYI, I lost my bf. So, yea, I mess things up. The only one who treated me like no body else. He light up my world when I'm afraid to face the world. He makes me see things in every different perspective. He guided me how to walk a windy road. He love me like I'm an angel fell from the great sky, and I regret I treated him like that. Now I understand why people say " appreciate what you have now, not till you lose it, you will regret it".

He got me a butterfly necklace and a pair of butterfly earrings.. SO NICE!! SO SWEET!!