My Paths

Okay, dealing with various of situation, yes, I been through that. I've seen it, believe in it, trust in it, live with it.
But when it comes to dealing with this, I always have the sorrow and pain that lie behind this solid wall. 


I'm solid, and a vivid visual that I can't miss. How am I gonna deal with it, and how am I gonna tell my brain, again and again and again that I've decided this route to be this way, and that't it!! Close case!! Eventually after a good educate and a nicely arrange words in my head that it is gonna be this way for now and for the future, and yet, I can't help it that my mind will have all this fantasies build up inside my head and keep telling me I have a chance! 


Gosh!! Is that hard!!


Doing something that you have tried to convince yourself not to do it again and also a vivid prediction of coming out wrong. So, how is it gonna be now? sigh.


Heart is crying now. The direction that I've pointed to which I have to walk is kinda hard now. Especially it's been hard these days for me. 


A road that is full of junction that I have to decide for myself which I cannot even guide my own pathway.