the waves~~~

i never felt so empty before. don know where to head. where am i right now? i'm at the beach, i have no idea why am i hear, but somehow as i drive, i ended up here.. so, eventually i got down and take a walked. the breeze, the soft sound of the wind. how amazingly i could do that by just listening.. i use to not enjoy this, but am too lonely right now. end up i enjoy it pretty much. the calm feeling that you will never get when you rush through your days from Monday till Sunday. if you are curious, yes, i even work on Sunday, believe or not, i just add up more of my work, eventually i make my night so pack, that i cannot even sqeeze time for my Gym class.

ooopss, hold on one moment, it started raining, better run back to the car.. 

aaarrgg, how i dislike being wet in the rain.. oh well, am in the car now, i can see all the cars rushing out this area. as i took a stroll , there;s a lot of people relaxing around this area, i mean, i never thought of some people would love to hang out in this area,. well, i love to hang here, but i just don that the time to come here.. how i wish i can go every-time .oh..  i even recorded the wave sound. cool aye.. so, that i can make myself feel like im at the beach even though im not.. 

olla . gotta get out of here

"It is better to love and lost than not love at all"

After a few days of my misery in hell, not knowing where am i gonna head to, suddenly a phrase pop out from my "brain"(so-called my useless, ignorant, pig head)... oh, how cool is that.!!  

"It is better to love and lost than not love at all".
i heard that before, not once, not twice, but more that i can count with my fingers. Honestly telling you,
 I do not really understand what does it mean till today that i really went through it myself (LITERALLY).
Well, let me tell ya, IT DOESN'T FEEL GOOD AT ALL!!! AND AM NOT GONNA GO THROUGH THAT AGAIN!!
Why?? How are you gonna tell me that it is better being love and lost?
I felt so miserable than before , like the volcano erupt just in time to let you feel the HEAT, the POWER, and the STRENGTH, it gives you the spirit that you can fly( which is perfectly impossible for human to do that), then in the end when you are lost, you gonna go through a road cover with lavas alone on your bare feet..
Yea~.. it does feel good and beautiful when it erupt, but when the lavas over flows and spreading all over with hot boiling chili hot, that's the time you gonna cry and run away. Don't you think that is already too late?


Or like a huge diamond that is once as shinning as it can blind you forever, instead it give you a huge down turn that it turn out to be a fake one. How devastating is that!!!!!!
What?? you gonna say again that "love is blind?" There you go again~
oh please, is that all that this gonna be?
Really??


If that is all, that all this turn out to be a disaster,
are you gonna tell me once again that" It is better to love and lost, than never love at all?" 

Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt

I see your face in my mind as I drive away,

Cause no one of us thought it was gonna end that way.
People are people and sometimes we change our minds.
But it’s killing me to see you go after all this time.

Music starts playin’ like the end of a sad movie,

It’s the kinda ending you don’t really wanna see.
Cause it’s tragedy and it’ll only bring you down,
Now I don’t know what to be without you around.

And we know it’s never simple never easy.
Never a clean break, no one here to save me.
You’re the only thing I know like the back of my hand,
And I can’t,
Breathe, without you,
But I have to,


Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt.

Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve.
But people are people,
And sometimes it doesn’t work out,
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out.

It’s two a.m.

Feelin’ like I just lost a friend.
Hope you know this ain’t easy,
Easy for me.

And we know it’s never simple, never easy.
Never a clean break, no one here to save me.

Sorry

Sorry
Sorry

cause that what single girls do~~

Is this really what single girls do??
My bed is now a girl's bed
Pink flowers under my head
and pillows on your side instead of you

'Cause that's what single girls do
don't think about you

I'm reading books on meditation
Praying for my heart's salvation
I've got the motivation
to be a free girl now

I've gone drinking with the guy down the hall
put up a new color on my bare walls
I'm so damn busy
after all

You're the one I wanna hold

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste 
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase 
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste 
I want you and your beautiful soul

I know that you are something special 
To you I'd be always faithful
I want to be what you always needed 
Then I hope you'll see the heart in me